Facebook has an opinion about me and it ain’t pretty…

Last week Facebook announced their IPO.  I learned that Bono is going to make close to 1 billion.  I learned that people hate the new timeline and the security and privacy commission has been asked to investigate it.  I learned that Facebook is sitting on a ton of cash.  But most importantly, I learned that 85% of its revenues come from advertising.

I’ve never noticed the advertising – it’s like I have a hole in my peripheral vision where the ads appear.  But with this impending IPO I got curious…just who does Facebook think I am?  The ads on Facebook are targeted to demographics: age, gender, location and probably to keywords from comments you’ve made, how you’ve captioned your pictures etc.  I thought that maybe the ads would reveal something about myself…a fun and interesting experiment and so much cheaper than psychotherapy.

But not flattering!

Today Facebook thinks that I should buy a ravine lot in Ajax Ontario.  They also want me to learn Angelina Jolie’s weight loss secrets, buy a “dress to impress,” attend a free webinar on KY brand personal lubricant, and then apply for debt-relief counselling.  They also want me to buy a gel cooling pad to sit on.

Yep.  That’s right.  They think I am a dowdy fat suburbanite with hemorrhoids, a mountain of consume debt and a poor sex life.

Zuckerberg you can kiss my fat dowdy suburban ass!  Mind those hems tho, they might not be too attractive.

Who does Facebook think you are?


  1. They are pretty spot on with me, I had a sci fi movie ad, an ad for a marathon in Utah (I have ties there but I am so out of shape I could never run it), something for movies in general, A World of Warcraft (my favorite mmo) and ads for me to get my degree in various things. I am looking to get my degree once my youngest gets older but I am so not going to be trolling Facebook looking for a school.

  2. They got me right too – huge rugby fan who loves to cook and needs to lose a few pounds. Hmm not sure about the breast implants though, reduction maybe.

  3. Snorkel · · Reply

    What can you learn in a webinar about KY?

    1. I was too afraid to find out!

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