Facebook has an opinion about me and it ain’t pretty…

Last week Facebook announced their IPO.  I learned that Bono is going to make close to 1 billion.  I learned that people hate the new timeline and the security and privacy commission has been asked to investigate it.  I learned that Facebook is sitting on a ton of cash.  But most importantly, I learned that 85% of its revenues come from advertising.

I’ve never noticed the advertising – it’s like I have a hole in my peripheral vision where the ads appear.  But with this impending IPO I got curious…just who does Facebook think I am?  The ads on Facebook are targeted to demographics: age, gender, location and probably to keywords from comments you’ve made, how you’ve captioned your pictures etc.  I thought that maybe the ads would reveal something about myself…a fun and interesting experiment and so much cheaper than psychotherapy.

But not flattering!

Today Facebook thinks that I should buy a ravine lot in Ajax Ontario.  They also want me to learn Angelina Jolie’s weight loss secrets, buy a “dress to impress,” attend a free webinar on KY brand personal lubricant, and then apply for debt-relief counselling.  They also want me to buy a gel cooling pad to sit on.

Yep.  That’s right.  They think I am a dowdy fat suburbanite with hemorrhoids, a mountain of consume debt and a poor sex life.

Zuckerberg you can kiss my fat dowdy suburban ass!  Mind those hems tho, they might not be too attractive.

Who does Facebook think you are?

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4 comments

  1. They are pretty spot on with me, I had a sci fi movie ad, an ad for a marathon in Utah (I have ties there but I am so out of shape I could never run it), something for movies in general, A World of Warcraft (my favorite mmo) and ads for me to get my degree in various things. I am looking to get my degree once my youngest gets older but I am so not going to be trolling Facebook looking for a school.

  2. They got me right too – huge rugby fan who loves to cook and needs to lose a few pounds. Hmm not sure about the breast implants though, reduction maybe.

  3. Snorkel · · Reply

    What can you learn in a webinar about KY?

    1. I was too afraid to find out!

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